The Engagement Period: Why Distance Can Deepen Closeness
Why a vort does not mean dissolving into each other and how healthy distance protects joy before the chuppah
After an engagement, many people feel that now they can talk endlessly, meet constantly, and almost live as husband and wife already. But the traditional shidduch world sees this period differently: healthy distance helps a couple approach the chuppah with more joy, reverence, and freshness.
Why can too much contact hurt?
Overexposure weakens anticipation. If the couple spends too much time together before marriage, the sense of waiting and inner newness can thin out before the home has even begun.
Before marriage, the couple does not yet have the tools for heavy negotiations. Wedding logistics, money, and family expectations can easily create friction.
Practical takeaway. Distance during engagement does not destroy closeness. It purifies it. The less a couple tries to take everything early, the more likely they are to enter the wedding with living joy and respect.
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