Between Mind and Heart: How to Make the Most Important Decision
How to examine your feelings when logic says one thing and your heart hesitates
You have met several times. Logic says the person is ideal, but inwardly there is silence or hesitation. What should you do? The Lubavitcher Rebbe gave a clear and wise approach.
Who can help with the choice? The Rebbe emphasized that when it comes to shidduchim, no one — not even parents, not even the mind alone — can answer for you. Only the heart can truly know. If there is emotional pull, move forward. If there is no feeling at all, it may be right to wait.
How can feelings be tested?
The pause method. If you are confused, stop meetings and messages for 3–4 weeks. Distance can clear the mind and show whether there is a genuine pull.
The comparison method. Imagine learning that the other side ended the process. If you feel real pain or loss, that may be a sign of connection.
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