Tact Toward Older Singles: How to Help Those Who Have Been Searching a Long Time
Why those who have been searching a long time especially need respect, accuracy, and hope
People who have been searching for a spouse for a long time too often become targets of victim-blaming. They are told that they are too picky or unrealistic.
How can one help properly?
Respect the person. These are grown and accomplished people with feelings, wounds, and experience. They should never be addressed condescendingly.
Do not suggest just anything. It is wrong to offer obviously unsuitable matches merely so that “something is happening.”
Do not push them into despair. The Rebbe advised not to sink into hopelessness even during long delay. Sometimes a delay is a test of faith, not a sign that all hope is gone.
Help with dignity. Continue acting through natural channels, but do so with respect, precision, and strengthened bitachon.
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